Dipping Into The Water Butt

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Sometimes when you cry
No one sees your tears…
Sometimes when you’re in pain
No one sees your hurt…
Sometimes when you’re worried
No one sees your stress…
Sometimes when you’re happy
No one sees your smile…
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But FART just ONE time…
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It’s the height of summer and everybody’s having fun. I’m wearing a bottle green satin skirt that’s long and very full. Thinking I’d be safe, I decided to go without knickers and let some air get to ‘things’.
Whoosh! A gust of wind sweeps in from the sea and my skirt’s lifted over my head. Everything […]

Majorca, about ten years ago. Me and the guy I was living with at the time were bored so we decided to walk through the bar during bingo wearing each other’s clothes.
Him: A bright orange shift dress, tights, silver sandals, full make-up – the works.
Me: Khaki knee-length shorts, a bloke’s t-shirt, bloke’s sandals and no […]

Another memory pulled from the pot, this time with the aide of Richard, ex live-in partner, present… err… boyfriend? Well, some kind of relationship, anyhow
I can’t remember how long ago it was we met and I certainly can’t tell you when this happened, although I’m sure Richard will be able to. He’s always […]

I had another blog for a while that I was using purely to record my memories on. Eventually I decided that keeping two blogs was too time consuming and that I’d use this to record memories as well as rant, discuss, tell jokes, etc. The memoirs bit has kinda died off though and it was […]

My mum was on the phone the other day and during our conversation she reminded me of the story of her and the bomb. I was rolling up! Honestly, she had me laughing so much that tears were rolling down my cheeks! My mum’s like that, y’see. She can make anybody laugh and even though […]

Apparently, this letter was recently sent by Tesco’s Head Office to a customer in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops […]

A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invites her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he shags her senseless.
After […]

Charlene’s staying with us at the moment and let me tell you now, she’s a right little giggler. I’ve never known anybody to be on such a natural high as she has been since coming here to visit. Anyway, we’ve been chatting about past times and one of the stories she loves the most is […]

Anybody remember this?

Come on… let’s get up and dance
Sharon xx
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